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Never Really Dated!

Austin Gardner • August 3, 2022

Everyone knew we were going to get married before either of us.

versión en español a continuación


We never really dated. So many girls had burned me, and I was afraid of getting involved again. I didn't want another girl dumping me! I had already been dumped enough.


Betty and I were together about all of our waking hours. If we weren't in class, we were together. I didn't know anything about being romantic.


On Valentine's day, one of my friends told me I needed to buy flowers for Betty. I was pretty ignorant. He told me to buy a vase with three red roses. He said it meant I love you even without saying it. I did. 


To be honest, in my ignorance, I just wanted to hang out with Betty. I think I took her for granted. Our dates, if they could be called that, were going anywhere there was a revival meeting, a youth meeting, anything church-related. Then maybe we would eat or snack there or after.


I knew I liked her. I knew that I wanted to be around her. My dad had already planted the idea, but I didn't seem to know what to do with it.


Betty was always a crier. One day a couple of my friends staged an intervention. They took me to Shoney's restaurant. They said they wanted to talk to me. 


Why was I so rude to Betty? Why was I always hurting her feelings and making her cry? I tried to defend myself. I explained she cries and that is the way she is. She is not hurt or mad. She cries all the time, happy or sad.


In Christian love, they rebuked me, and I told them I would talk to Betty and try to do better.


It would be months after we were married that these two friends wanted to talk again. They took me back to Shoneys. 


They apologized because they realized that Betty just cried and I wasn't making her cry. 


One of them, my best friend of all, began to make a game out of making Betty cry. He would come to our house and say or do something to see if he could get her to cry. Then he would loudly proclaim he had broken the record and made her cry quicker than ever. 


Not dating, not knowing how to treat such a fine lady, Betty was just my best friend, even if she did cry all the time. 


Everyone thought of us as a couple. We were Betty and Austin or Austin and Betty without even knowing we were a couple yet! Everyone knew we were going to get married before either of us.


Some things I challenge you to think about for a few minutes.


Something's broken in the typical dating model used by so many today. We try to win a girl's or boy's heart. We never really intend to marry that person. We play the dating game and then dump them. The other person hurts and hurts. We are dating to get not to give and not to love. Please consider how you treat people of the opposite sex. Show respect.


Dating headed towards marriage will have a relationship based more on friendship than lust or sexual desire. You will love your friend as a person. You will be considerate of them at all times. Work at developing a friendship. That will mean you do not throw around words used to get one to fall in love or have sexual undertones. It will mean that you are not looking for one-night stands. 


Sex-based relationships will probably not last. Check out Hollywood to understand what relationships based on sex appeal and sexual beauty lead to. Check out godly marriages to see what loving the person does.


Real love is never about getting but giving. If your relationship is based on expectations, it will not end well.


Undoubtedly, you will date someone you think is good-looking or beautiful. But you will see deeper than the skin and look at the beauty of the heart and character.


Do they love serving God with you? If not, consider looking elsewhere. When people are dating, they put their best foot forward and treat you much better than they will after the marriage unless it is a love-based relationship. They don't really get better once you are married.



Get the whole story


Betty, the love of my life

The Call

Hay Day of my Life

"The bro zone!" Like a brother

A Giant Heart

The tractor ride

Never Really Dated!

Shocked & Surprised

Good News

Finding an acorn

Scared my dad!

Send that hillbilly hiking

Who's chasing who?

Betty meets my grandmother

The longest summer ever

Reckless Redneck

Honeymoon

Separated for the first time

We are going to make it



Realmente nunca cortejamos. Tantas chicas me habían lastimado que tenía miedo de involucrarme de nuevo. ¡No quería que otra chica me dejara! Ya me habían dejado bastante.


Betty y yo estuvimos juntos casi todas nuestras horas despiertos. Si no estábamos en clase, estábamos juntos. Yo no sabía nada acerca de ser romántico.


El día de San Valentín, uno de mis amigos me dijo que necesitaba comprar flores para Betty. Yo era bastante ignorante. Me dijo que comprara un florero con tres rosas rojas. Dijo que significaba te amo incluso sin decirlo. Lo hice.


Para ser honesto, en mi ignorancia, solo quería pasar el rato con Betty. Creo que la di por sentada. Nuestras citas, si pudieran llamarse así, eran ir a cualquier lugar donde hubiera una conferencia de avivamiento, una reunión de jóvenes, cualquier cosa relacionada con la iglesia. Entonces tal vez comeríamos o tomaríamos un refrigerio allí o después.


Sabía que me gustaba. Sabía que quería estar cerca de ella. Mi papá ya había planteado la idea, pero yo no parecía saber qué hacer con ella.


Betty siempre fue una llorona. Un día un par de amigos míos hicieron una intervención. Me llevaron al restaurante Shoney’s. Dijeron que querían hablar conmigo.


¿Por qué era tan grosero con Betty? ¿Por qué siempre estaba hiriendo sus sentimientos y haciéndola llorar? Traté de defenderme. Les expliqué que ella lloraba y que es así. Ella no estaba herida o enojada. Ella solo llora todo el tiempo, sea que esté feliz o triste.


Con amor cristiano, me reprendieron y les dije que hablaría con Betty y trataría de hacerlo mejor.


Pasarían meses después de casarnos que estos dos amigos querían volver a hablar. Me llevaron de vuelta a Shoney’s.


Se disculparon porque se dieron cuenta de que Betty solo lloraba y yo no la estaba haciendo llorar.


Uno de ellos, mi mejor amigo de todos, empezó a hacer un juego, era el de hacer llorar a Betty. Venía a nuestra casa y decía o hacía algo para ver si podía hacerla llorar. Luego proclamaba en voz alta que había batido el récord y la había hecho llorar más rápido que nunca.


Sin salir a citas, sin saber cómo tratar a una dama tan fina, Betty era simplemente mi mejor amiga, aún si lloraba todo el tiempo.


Todos pensaban en nosotros como una pareja. ¡Éramos Betty y Austin o Austin y Betty sin siquiera saber que éramos una pareja todavía! Todos sabían que nos íbamos a casar antes que nosotros lo supiéramos.


Te reto a pensar en algunas cosas durante unos minutos.


Algo se ha roto en el modelo típico de citas utilizado por tantos hoy en día. Tratamos de ganar el corazón de una chica o un chico. Realmente nunca tenemos la intención de casarnos con esa persona. Jugamos al juego de las citas y luego las dejamos. La otra persona sufre y sufre. Estamos saliendo para conseguir no para dar y no para amar. Considere cómo tratar a las personas del sexo opuesto. Muestra respeto.


Las citas encaminadas al matrimonio tendrán una relación basada más en la amistad que en la lujuria o el deseo sexual. Amarás a tu amigo como persona. Serás considerado de ellos en todo momento. Trabajar en el desarrollo de una amistad. Eso significará que no usarás palabras que se usan para enamorar o tener trasfondos sexuales. Significará que no estás buscando aventuras de una noche.



Las relaciones basadas en el sexo probablemente no durarán. Eche un vistazo a Hollywood para comprender a qué conducen las relaciones basadas en el atractivo sexual y la belleza sexual. Echa un vistazo a los matrimonios piadosos para ver lo que hace amar a la persona.


El verdadero amor nunca se trata de recibir sino de dar. Si su relación se basa en expectativas, no terminará bien.


Sin duda, saldrás con alguien que creas que es guapo o hermoso. Pero verás más profundo que la piel y verás la belleza del corazón y el carácter.


¿Les encanta servir a Dios contigo? Si no, considere buscar en otro lado. Cuando las personas están saliendo, dan lo mejor de sí y te tratan mucho mejor que después del matrimonio, a menos que sea una relación basada en el amor. Realmente no mejoran una vez que estás casado.



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