This is a great book: Parenting is Heart Work by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. I wish this book had been available when we were raising our children. I give you below just a few brief excerpts and challenge you to get a copy of the book and read it.
See with New Eyes
God wants to revolutionize our thinking about parenting
TOUCHING OUR KIDS’ HEARTS IS POSSIBLE, BUT IT TAKES SOME TIME AND PLANNING SO WE’RE READY FOR THE OPPORTUNITIES WHEN THEY COME.
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION APPEALS TO CHILDREN’S RESIDENT SELFISHNESS.
This approach of “Do what I say and I’ll let you have what you want” often misses the heart altogether.
YOU CAN FORCE A CHILD TO CHANGE BEHAVIOR, BUT YOU CAN’T FORCE A CHANGE OF HEART.
Motivating heart change isn’t easy. You can force a child to change behavior, but you can’t force a change of heart. It’s a deeper work. Helping children change their hearts requires a lot of thought, planning, and prayer. More and more parents are relearning discipline so that they can have a lasting impact on their children.
Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, Parenting Is Heart Work (Colorado Springs, CO: David C Cook, 2011).