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Separated for the first time

Austin Gardner • August 14, 2022

separation hurts

versión en español a continuación


A fantastic week for just us. There was nowhere to go, nothing to do, just getting to know each other and loving every minute except for my prayer time.


I read my Bible and snuck off to the bathroom to pray. Our $ 85-a-month apartment had two bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, and one bath. It was small but ample for us. 


I wanted a private place, so I went to the bathroom. The commode became my altar. I prayed out loud during my prayer time. I finished praying and opened the door, and Betty was standing there listening and crying. 


Jealousy consumed her. She didn't want me talking even to God without knowing what was happening. As a new believer, she later told me she hadn't understood the need for privacy when I was talking to God. 


We worked through the prayer lesson and were all good except for that little hiccup. We went to our church on Wednesday and Sunday a.m. Then my friends began to arrive back at the college.


They came to see us on Sunday afternoon and asked if I could help them move their stuff back into the dorms. I left Betty at our apartment. With her permission and one last kiss, I was off and away and separated for the first time.


I helped the guys move in but was missing Betty so much that about every hour, I went to the pay phone in the dorm and called Betty to make sure she was ok. We could barely stand to be apart. Don't forget there was no find friends or life 360. Phones were still hanging on the wall. So Betty sat by the phone crying and missing me while I worked and called. All of my friends were making fun of me.


Somewhere into the next semester, I would terrify Betty for real. 


I had gotten used to being married. One night the guys asked me if I wanted to return to the dorm to study. It was going to be a boy's study night. 


We studied and were ready for the test in a couple of hours, but before we knew it, the night got away. There we were, all laughing, joking, and cutting up. The hours went by. I had not called Betty even one time. 


I think they took me back to my house at about 430 am. Betty came to the door, and boy was she upset. She had called the police, the hospitals, the highway patrol, and even the dorm many times. No one knew anything. 


The guys and I never even thought about what she was going through. I got home, and she cried and cried. She never fussed at me, but it was the worse discipline I have ever received until today. 


Think about this. We should be so in love that our time together is one of our greatest blessings. I know it was for all of us as we started in marriage. Over the years, many couples let their couple time lose value and importance. Work on your marriage. Do not just take it for granted.


Never think of anything you say or do without considering how it impacts your spouse. We are one flesh. We are to live like that is true. To hurt my spouse is to hurt me. I certainly do not want to be the one hurting my spouse. 



Get the whole story


Betty, the love of my life

The Call

Hay Day of my Life

"The bro zone!" Like a brother

A Giant Heart

The tractor ride

Never Really Dated!

Shocked & Surprised

Good News

Finding an acorn

Scared my dad!

Who's chasing who?

Betty meets my grandmother

The longest summer ever

Reckless Redneck

Honeymoon

Separated for the first time

We are going to make it



Una semana fantástica solo para nosotros. No había adónde ir, nada que hacer, solo conocernos y amar cada minuto excepto mi tiempo de oración.


Leí mi Biblia y me escapé al baño para orar. Nuestro apartamento de $ 85 al mes tenía dos dormitorios, una sala de estar, una cocina y un baño. Era pequeño pero suficiente para nosotros.


Quería un lugar privado, así que fui al baño. La cómoda se convirtió en mi altar. Oré en voz alta durante mi tiempo de oración. Terminé de orar y abrí la puerta, y Betty estaba parada allí escuchando y llorando.


Los celos la consumieron. Ella no quería que hablara ni siquiera con Dios sin saber lo que estaba pasando. Como nueva creyente, más tarde me dijo que no había entendido la necesidad de privacidad cuando estaba hablando con Dios.


Trabajamos a través de la lección de oración y todo estuvo bien excepto por ese pequeño contratiempo. Íbamos a nuestra iglesia el miércoles y el domingo por la mañana. Luego, mis amigos comenzaron a llegar de regreso a la universidad.


Vinieron a vernos el domingo por la tarde y me preguntaron si podía ayudarlos a trasladar sus cosas a los dormitorios. Dejé a Betty en nuestro apartamento. Con su permiso y un último beso, me fui y me separé por primera vez.


Ayudé a los chicos a mudarse, pero echaba tanto de menos a Betty que cada hora iba al teléfono público del dormitorio y llamaba a Betty para asegurarme de que estaba bien. Apenas podíamos soportar estar separados. No olvides que no había Find Friends o Life 360. Los teléfonos todavía estaban colgados en la pared. Así que Betty se sentó junto al teléfono llorando y extrañándome mientras yo trabajaba y llamaba. Todos mis amigos se burlaban de mí.


En algún momento del próximo semestre, aterrorizaría a Betty de verdad.


Me había acostumbrado a estar casado. Una noche los chicos me preguntaron si quería volver al dormitorio para estudiar. Iba a ser una noche de estudio para chicos.


Estudiamos y estábamos listos para el examen en un par de horas, pero antes de que nos diéramos cuenta, la noche se escapó. Ahí estábamos, todos riendo, bromeando y cortando. Pasaron las horas. No había llamado a Betty ni una sola vez.


Creo que me llevaron de regreso a mi casa como a las 430 am. Betty llamó a la puerta, y vaya que estaba molesta. Había llamado a la policía, a los hospitales, a la patrulla de carreteras e incluso a la residencia de estudiantes muchas veces. Nadie sabía nada.


Los chicos y yo ni siquiera pensamos en lo que estaba pasando. Llegué a casa y ella lloró y lloró. Ella nunca me mimó, pero fue la peor disciplina que he recibido hasta hoy.



Piensa en esto. Deberíamos estar tan enamorados que nuestro tiempo juntos sea una de nuestras mayores bendiciones. Sé que lo fue para todos nosotros cuando empezamos en el matrimonio. A lo largo de los años, muchas parejas dejan que su tiempo de pareja pierda valor e importancia. Trabaja en tu matrimonio. No lo des por sentado.


Nunca pienses en nada de lo que digas o hagas sin considerar cómo afecta a tu cónyuge. Somos una sola carne. Debemos vivir como si eso fuera verdad. Lastimar a mi cónyuge es lastimarme a mí. Ciertamente no quiero ser el que lastime a mi cónyuge.



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